We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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