I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize