Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
