I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My liver just broke up with me...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize