You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize