Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
