he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
