Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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