I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
