This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How's work?
Spinning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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