Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
