i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize