Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
