ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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