It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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