Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
