U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize