no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
