Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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