i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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