Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
