Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
