Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
