you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
