I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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