there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think my moral compass just broke
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
