i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
