On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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