office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
