Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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