adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
