angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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