he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
