i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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