Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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