i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Too much gin, very little bucket
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
