OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think people are normalizing furries
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
