i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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