I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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