just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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