My friends, they love my intelligence
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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