Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
