My cat gives me a boner
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
