he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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