My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
