The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
