i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
