so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
