I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
