so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
