yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it was like eating out sand paper
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
