you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
