i would punch a child for taco bell
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
