Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
