Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
