Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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