i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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