Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
someone owes me an orgasm
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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