I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize