Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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