I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
