Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
