Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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