she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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