4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
