he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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