For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
