The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
