is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
