Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
im on a boat
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