He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
