Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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