Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
