If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
