PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
