we're blogging at a bar
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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