Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
