i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
