sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
God, I missed his penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
