This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
