We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
